Black Forest (2012)

I’m not put off by their low budgets or their schlocky concepts, but damn, when will they hire a real writer? Hi Syfy (and gods, you’re new name is terrible), I’m totally available, I’m agented up, and I’m cheap. Hire me and I promise to turn your unwatchable schlock into watchable, absolutely enthralling schlock.

Horrific Knits

‘Who puts a raven in a Volkswagon?!’

‘Where there’s a goat, there’s a farm.’

It seems that Syfy has gotten tired of sharks and storms and has moved onto to the faery tale genre.

A group of floofy (because they’re always floofy in Syfy films) gets sucked into a trip in the backwoods of Germany with the promise of pagans and faeries and bumps in the night, oh my. Armed with crow feathers they head off to the barrow…and with traditional Syfy style they go straight down the rabbit hole.

Wrong book? …Maybe…not?

Well, I have to admit that I like some of these silly made for Syfy (or at least distributed under their name) films. Even if the tour guide has a hard time keeping straight who or what lives in a barrow, the geeks are a little proto-geek, the overly cute girl is a little too overly cute…

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